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How Stress Affects Fertility and What to Do About It

When my husband and I decided to start our family, we thought we had everything under control. We were both healthy, active, and ready. What we didn’t fully appreciate was how much our busy work lives — both of us are software engineers working in Europe — were quietly working against us.

Stress, we learned, doesn’t just make you feel tired or irritable. It can genuinely affect your ability to conceive. Once we understood this connection, we made intentional changes that helped us feel better, sleep better, and ultimately, get pregnant within a few months of trying.

In this post, I’ll share what we learned about how stress affects fertility and the practical steps we took to reduce stress while trying to conceive. These aren’t generic tips — they’re things we actually did, and they made a real difference.

The Connection Between Stress and Fertility

Before I share our experience, let’s talk about why stress and fertility are so closely linked.

When you’re stressed, your body produces higher levels of cortisol — the stress hormone. Elevated cortisol can disrupt the delicate balance of reproductive hormones in both women and men. For women, this can interfere with ovulation. For men, chronic stress can affect sperm quality and count.

Research published in Fertility and Sterility showed that men who experienced two or more stressful life events in the past year had lower sperm concentration and motility compared to men who did not experience stressful events.

Research from the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development has shown that women with high levels of stress biomarkers take longer to conceive compared to those with lower stress levels. While stress alone may not cause infertility, it can certainly make the journey to pregnancy longer and more difficult.

A 2014 study published in Human Reproduction found that women with higher levels of alpha-amylase (a stress biomarker) had a 29% lower probability of conception during each menstrual cycle compared to women with lower levels.

For us, the effects were more subtle but still noticeable: sleepless nights, unnecessary irritation with each other, and a general feeling of being “on edge.” None of that creates the ideal environment for conceiving — or for a healthy relationship, for that matter.

How We Recognised Stress Was Affecting Us

As working professionals, some level of stress felt normal to us. A tight deadline here, a difficult meeting there — it’s just part of the job, right?

But when we started trying to conceive, we realised that what we considered “normal” stress was actually taking a toll. My husband was having trouble sleeping. We were bringing work frustrations home. We were both more irritable than usual, and it was affecting our time together.

The turning point came when we had an honest conversation about it. We asked ourselves: if stress affects every aspect of our lives, why wouldn’t it affect our fertility too?

That question changed everything. We decided that if we were serious about having a baby, we needed to get serious about managing our stress — not just for fertility, but for our overall well-being.

What We Did to Reduce Stress While Trying to Conceive

Here are the specific changes we made. Some might seem small, but together they created a significant shift in how we felt day-to-day.

Regular Workouts at Home

We committed to working out together for about 45 minutes most days. Nothing extreme — just home workouts focusing on yoga, stretching, and light strength exercises. What made this special was that we did it together, which turned exercise into quality time rather than another item on the to-do list.

The physical benefits were obvious, but the mental benefits surprised us. After a workout, we both felt calmer and more present. The endorphins helped, but so did the sense of accomplishment and the time spent focusing on our health rather than work.

Daily Walks Together

Before we started trying to conceive, we would go for walks every second or third day. Once we got intentional about reducing stress, we made it a daily habit — at least an hour every evening.

These walks became sacred time for us. No phones, no work talk (unless we needed to vent briefly), just the two of us walking and talking. Sometimes we’d discuss our hopes for the future. Other times we’d just enjoy the quiet. Either way, it helped us decompress and reconnect.

Breathing Exercises and Meditation

As part of our home workout routine, we incorporated breathing exercises and short meditation sessions. I’ll be honest — I was skeptical at first.

But the results were undeniable. On days when we did our breathing exercises, I slept better that night. My husband noticed the same thing. It became a non-negotiable part of our routine, especially on stressful days.

No Late-Night Work

This one was hard but necessary. Both of us had a habit of checking emails or finishing tasks late into the evening. We made a rule: no work after 7 PM.

The world didn’t fall apart. Our managers didn’t fire us. But our evenings transformed. Instead of staring at screens, we cooked dinner together, watched movies, or just talked. That protected evening time helped our minds wind down properly before bed.

Avoiding Unnecessary Conflicts

We made a conscious decision to step back from unnecessary conflicting topics or discussions — both with each other and in our broader lives. That colleague who always wants to argue about politics? We stopped engaging. Those heated online debates? Not worth it.

This wasn’t about avoiding all difficult conversations. It was about recognising that some conflicts drain your energy without any benefit. During this season of trying to conceive, we chose peace over being right.

Spending More Time Together and with Family

Something my husband did — without us ever discussing it — was reduce his work hours and spend more time with me. He stopped staying late at the office. He started being more present at home.

I noticed. It mattered. That simple choice to prioritise our relationship helped both of us feel more supported and less alone in this journey.

We also made more time for family gatherings and calls with loved ones. Having that support network reminded us that we weren’t on this journey by ourselves.

Taking a Short Vacation

During our trying-to-conceive period, we took a short vacation — just a few days away from work and routine. It wasn’t expensive or elaborate, just a change of scenery.

The break did wonders for our mental state. We came back feeling refreshed and reconnected. If you can manage even a weekend getaway, I’d highly recommend it.

Talking — The Most Important Thing

If I could recommend only one stress-reduction strategy, it would be this: talk to each other.

Talk about your worries. Talk about your hopes. Talk about the bad day you had at work. Talk about how the waiting feels. Don’t bottle things up assuming your partner knows how you feel.

Some of our best conversations happened on those evening walks. We processed our emotions together instead of carrying them alone. This kept stress from building up and protected our relationship from the strain that trying to conceive can sometimes create.

Supporting Your Body While Managing Stress

While managing stress mentally, we also paid attention to what we were putting into our bodies. Stress and nutrition are closely connected — when you’re stressed, it’s easy to reach for comfort foods that don’t actually help.

We focused on eating nutrient-rich foods that support overall health. Leafy greens like spinach became a regular part of our meals because of their high folate content, which is important for fertility. We also added more broccoli and kale to our diet for their vitamins and antioxidants.

We also swapped our afternoon coffee for green tea, which has calming properties and less caffeine. It became a small ritual that helped us slow down mid-day.

If you’re looking to support your body during this time, consider adding superfoods that boost metabolism to your diet. A healthy metabolism supports hormone balance, which is essential for fertility.

Building a Morning Routine That Reduces Stress

One thing that helped us tremendously was establishing a consistent morning routine. Starting the day rushed and chaotic sets the tone for the entire day.

We woke up a bit earlier to have time for breakfast together, a few minutes of stretching, and some quiet time before the workday began. If you’re struggling with mornings, our guide to building a productive morning routine has practical tips that can help reduce stress from the moment you wake up.

Why Stress Management Matters Beyond Fertility

Here’s something we didn’t expect: the habits we built while trying to conceive stuck with us. Even now, with an 18-month-old daughter, we still prioritise our walks, our workouts, and our conversations.

Managing stress isn’t just about getting pregnant. It’s about building a healthier, happier life — which is exactly the kind of life you want to bring a child into.

The American Society for Reproductive Medicine notes that while stress alone is unlikely to cause infertility, managing stress through lifestyle changes can improve overall reproductive health and increase the chances of conception.

The habits you develop now will serve you during pregnancy (which comes with its own stresses) and during the sleepless newborn phase. Think of stress management as training for parenthood.

What If You’re Struggling?

I want to acknowledge that stress isn’t always something you can just “manage away.” If you’re dealing with chronic stress, anxiety, or depression, please consider talking to a professional. There’s no shame in getting help — in fact, it’s one of the best things you can do for yourself and your future family.

Sometimes the source of stress is work, relationships, or life circumstances that can’t be easily changed. In those cases, having a therapist or counselor can provide tools and perspectives that friends and family simply can’t offer.

Final Thoughts

Stress affects fertility — that’s a fact supported by research and confirmed by our own experience. But here’s the encouraging news: you have more control over your stress levels than you might think.

You don’t need a perfect, stress-free life to conceive. You just need to be intentional about protecting your mental and emotional well-being. Small changes — daily walks, better sleep habits, honest conversations — can add up to a big difference.

For us, the journey to pregnancy became an opportunity to build healthier habits and a stronger relationship. I hope the same is true for you.

Frequently Asked Questions

Can stress really prevent you from getting pregnant?

Stress alone is unlikely to completely prevent pregnancy, but it can make conception more difficult. High cortisol levels can disrupt ovulation in women and affect sperm quality in men. Reducing stress improves your overall health and can shorten the time it takes to conceive.

How long does it take for stress reduction to improve fertility?

There’s no fixed timeline, but many couples notice improvements in their overall well-being within a few weeks of making lifestyle changes. For us, it took about 3-4 months of intentional stress management, along with other healthy habits, before we conceived.

What are the best exercises to reduce stress when trying to conceive?

Gentle, consistent exercise works best. Yoga, walking, swimming, and light strength training are all excellent choices. We found that 45-minute home workouts combining yoga, stretching, and breathing exercises helped us the most. The key is consistency rather than intensity.

Does stress affect male fertility too?

Yes, stress affects fertility in men as well. Chronic stress can lower testosterone levels, reduce sperm count, and affect sperm motility and quality. That’s why stress management should be a priority for both partners when trying to conceive.

How can couples reduce stress together while trying to conceive?

The best approach is to make stress reduction a shared activity. Go for daily walks together, exercise as a couple, set boundaries around work hours, and most importantly, communicate openly about your feelings. We found that tackling stress as a team brought us closer and made the journey feel less overwhelming.

What foods help reduce stress and support fertility?

Focus on nutrient-dense foods rich in folate, iron, and antioxidants. Leafy greens like spinach and kale, cruciferous vegetables like broccoli, fruits like blueberries, and foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids all support both stress reduction and fertility. Avoid excessive caffeine and processed foods, which can increase stress levels.

Disclaimer

This article is based on personal experience and general information. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your doctor, midwife, or qualified healthcare provider with any questions about your health or pregnancy.

Existing Posts (link these):

Upcoming Pregnancy Posts (add links when published):

Lifestyle Changes to Improve Fertility (1.8)
Male Fertility: How Partners Can Prepare (1.9)
How to Prepare Your Body for Pregnancy (1.1)
Best Foods to Boost Fertility Naturally (1.2)
Prenatal Vitamins: When to Start and What to Take (1.5)

How Stress Affects Fertility: Tips That Helped Us